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.: Saturday, June 14, 2003 :.
Phobia? Maybe
I never really thought about it till now..
So it occurs to me today, I'm bloody afraid of social events where I don't know at least 3/4 of the people attending. Smaller gatherings, no problem, but for some reason, when theres like 100 or so people, most of which i don't know, I freak out. I can't place why I would, I just kind of panic. Its the oddest thing.
So of course, this spurs my intrest in the whole phobia thing, and i do a little research. Which is probably like blowing pure oxygen on a flame that would otherwise just go out on its own. I honestly don't think i have a phobia, but now I have this itching curiosity in the back of my head that maybe I do.
Why do such odd things screw with peoples minds?
I find it amusing to find me, of all people, writing about having a phobia. I'm a strong beleiver that people who think that they have multiple 'conditions' really just have one problem, they're 'insane', 'depressed', or a 'Stupid Teen'. Yet, I'm neither depressed, nor insane, and i can't for the life of me get anywhere near dances, weddings, receptions, funerals, etc.
Thinking back over the last five years, I've avoided all those things that I just listed. The last dance that i went to was for my elementary school grad, and even then I was in and out in twenty minutes. I attended as more of a courtesy to my friends. I'd be more concerned if I shyed away from partys and bars and such too, but i've got no problem with them.
The strange things we let rule our lives. Maybe now that I realize this I can do something about it, or perhaps I'm stuck with it. Oh well, by knowing about it, I should be able to control it, rather than let it control me. As G.I Joe would say, 'Knowing is Half the Battle'
Peace Out
What scares you?
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