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.: Friday, March 26, 2004 :.
I've been holding my breath for over a year now. i don't miss the air, in all the time that i breathed it, i never took the time to taste it. had i time i'm sure i would have done things differently. time is in of itself one of life's great injustices, you only ever have it when you don't seem to need it. Unused time is spent recycling time thats already passed, and realizing things that maybe you didn't at first.
Theres no sense in dwelling on the past, what's come and gone has come and gone. yet to the mind it seems like it must be such a simple thing to just go back a little ways, and change one instance. And theres another little unjustice we're dealt, the fact that our minds can conceive of things that we can't acheive. Dream's a double edged sword.
.: Tuesday, March 23, 2004 :.
so here we are, five flights from home, and looking up. everything as it should be, everything how we've wanted it to be. Culmination. hard work paid off, the fruits of our labour. I see a smile cross your cheeks, slight, faint, but satisfied. Just one trek left, and with every step a little releif in knowing that it's one less step that needs to be taken.
you lay your hand on the rail as we move upward, taking its imperfections for perfections in and of themselves. carefully onward, an act of respect, slowly going. light paints itself onto the wall in a large, mishapen form of the window from which it entered. my shadow enters frame, equally subversed, and beautiful to the open mind.
our feet meet the final flat. our door before us, its preconceived height dispelled with a glance. grasping the knob, i turn it, and enter. for a moment i stare back down, then shut the door.
.: Sunday, March 21, 2004 :.
slower, slow, slow down.
slow motion.
see the light before it hits your eye.
a blur, you turn.
take it in, breath deeper.
calm.
calm.
everything at once.
everything in an instance.
tommorow.
doesn't matter.
peace.
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